She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
