This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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