my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
he shaved USA in his pubs
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
