I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
