i just had sex bonerless
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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