I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
