so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
so much tequila, so little girl.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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