She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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