he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
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