paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Randomize
