so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
