I puked a lego.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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