When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
