I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
