im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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