Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
