I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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