if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
