we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
