i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
