people are starting to question the shark bite story
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
