So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize