i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
