Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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