the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
