How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
