Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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