ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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