3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
