your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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