i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
