she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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