My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
