i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
