Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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