either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
