I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
