Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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