At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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