i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Randomize
