Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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