so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just high enough for therapy.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
