Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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