Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
