I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
