I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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