Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
