She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Randomize
