Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize