There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
