WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Randomize
