Where did you get a picture of my penis
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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