Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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