Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
