Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
