mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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