oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
