Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
