I love black thongs
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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