hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
