i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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