you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
